First Kiss
by starglow71
Summary: Wee!cest and Wincest! Sam reads Dad's journal and learns the truth. As they struggle to deal with Sam's awakened knowledge, they also find out that there are some things more meaningful that keep the evil at bay, their love for each other. Schmoop!


Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or the characters thereof but I do own Dante Finch, I created him for another story but just had to add a version of him to this story with our favorite boys.

**Warning: Wee!cest, of the soft variety. Not much language or graphic behavior here, just details their first kiss. Maybe a little grown up Wincest but not too much. So if this bothers you, please don't read it. I don't mean to offend anyone.**

Plot: The boys are on hunt for Anti-claus and they reminisce about their first real kiss. Pretty much it, really.

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Sam and Dean are hunting an anti-claus.

Flash back to first kiss.

Sam had just found out about monsters and what their dad really did. Got upset and dean tried to talk to him, make him feel better. Sam kissed him after he hugged him and he cried on his shoulder.

Dean kissed him back, they lay down and cuddled, Sam crying while dean held him, soothing him as best he could.

Soft wincest, but no sex or anything.

Their first kiss with each other.

Xxxxxxxxxx

(Present)

They stand looking around the Christmas Park and have to cringe. It was filthy, and broken down. The Christmas music was grating their nerves and Dean could tell the decorations were psychotic inducing already.

Sam wanted a Christmas this year. Dean was hesitant. By next year, Dean would be gone, it would be their last Christmas together.

Dean hated that thought.

However, facing a horribly and not to mention creepy Santa that smelled like candy, Sam said Ripple, well, it put it all in perspective. They decided to confront the thing. Turns out he's just a drunk in a santa suit. Awkwardly they fake a carol and flee the tiny trailer, confused.

Then they went back to their room and realized something.

Their first kiss, the real one, had been on Christmas Eve, a very long time ago. Something both men remembered fondly now as they kissed again and started to make love.

Xxxxxxxxxx

(flashback)

Sam had seen Dean reading the journal. He being the inquisitive type.

When Dean said it was nothing, Sam knew he was lying and all the things he promised about Dad coming in time for Christmas were just a crock of shit. All his questions about what Dad did had yielded nothing. So Sam went for the journal and found out more than he had ever thought to learn, most of which broke his heart.

Dean came in and Sam told him. He knew about monsters. Mentioned the one under his bed that Dad has said was not there. How they had said there were no monsters.

A total lie apparently.

"Dad had already checked." Dean admitted and Sam had to admit he should have known that. Dad had been the paranoid type, after his mom died and he had fled with his sons.

Mom killed by the demon.

Now he feared it was after his children.

All the evil things out there. So much for _no monsters_.

It explained a lot really.

Why Dad was gone so much.

Why he was drunk most of the time.

Why he was so paranoid.

'You're not paranoid if you're right.' Sam had read that somewhere. In a book probably.

Dad had been right.

They were in danger.

The thing could get Dad and leave them all alone.

This thought bothered Sam but not as much as the other one that followed.

It could get _Dean_.

This terrified Sam, broke him into little pieces at the thought.

He could live with Dad gone, he had Dean for that stuff. He loved Dean more anyway.

Always had. Probably why Dad was gone so much.

Sam never acted like he needed Dad, because deep down, he really didn't.

He always only needed Dean. For everything.

So now he thought it again.

_It could get Dean_.

Sam shattered again, and cried now.

Dean came over and tried to comfort him.

With awkward touches and struggling to figure out how to soothe his brother without being too girly.

As he pulled Sam closer, Sam looked up at him, really looked.

A new feeling hit his heart.

A feeling that didn't feel wrong to him but probably should have; he was sure of it.

He loved his brother.

In that one singular moment.

Sam fell in love with his brother.

Right _then._

Sam leaned in and followed that feeling, not caring if it was wrong or not.

He kissed his brother and his hands touched Dean's face softly, tentatively. Not a brotherly kiss, but not totally like a lover either. A 'first love', 'true love'; a 'I love you so much' kiss. Not a 'you're my brother' kiss like they were used to. Hazel eyes met green then, Sam smiled gently, hugging Dean tight, whispering in his ear, "I love you, Dean."

Dean looked into his brother's face as he pulled back now. Ready to cry from all he had learned tonight. Then he kissed Sam, too. _Not_ a brotherly one, either.

The feeling had hit him, too.

In love, _not brotherly_, but in love with Sam.

Like Sam was with him now.

Two kids lost and needing love.

Finding it together.

But still afraid and hurting from what they had learned about what lay in the dark.

How it was after _them_.

And all the things it had done to them.

Like killing their mother.

Maybe someday their Dad, too.

Maybe even them someday, too.

Sam rolled onto his side and cried.

Dean watched and brushed a hand through his hair.

Eventually Dean slipped out and came back with gifts, for Sam.

Said they were from Dad.

A total crock of shit, and Sam knew it.

More importantly, Dean knew Sam knew it and tried to play it off.

A Sapphire Barbie and sparkly baton.

Girl toys.

"Dad didn't show, did he?" Sam asked, knowing it was true.

Dean lies because he can't bear to see Sam lose faith in their father.

Sam's faith is already off their Dad, had been for years.

It's been in Dean for years now.

Sam has nothing to give Dean.

So he smiles, leans over and kisses him again.

"I love you, Dean." He repeats.

And gives Dean his heart.

His most precious possession.

Then goes back to bed.

A few hours later, Dean comes to sit by him.

Smiling softly down at his sleeping brother.

"I love you, too, Sammy. Forever." Dean swears.

And gives Sammy a gift of his own.

Not toys stolen from beneath some rich person's tree.

He gives Sam his heart, his whole heart.

Dean smiles, kissing Sam's cheek as he sleeps.

Then joins him, holding him tight.

Sam spoons closer to him now.

Smiling contentedly.

They wake up to an empty bed.

Dad never showed.

But that's okay with them.

They already exchanged gifts anyway.

Their _hearts._

Xxxxxxxxxx

(Present)

It's a little tree, but Sam likes it.

A magazine and motor oil. Gifts from a gas station.

But not the gifts they're _really_ giving.

Dean folds Sam into his arms. Kissing him softly.

Sam kisses him back.

Like their first kiss.

So _very _long ago.

"I love you, Dean." Sam says standing, pulling Dean up to him now.

"I love you, too, Sammy." Dean says and leads them to the bed, kissing Sam again.

Their hearts beat faster for each other.

The hearts they gave so long ago to each other.

Every kiss after that _first _one had meaning. Were special too.

Just nowhere near as much _meaning_ or as special as _that_ kiss, and _those_ kisses.

_Their first Kiss._

The one they _cherished _the most.

Xxxxxxxxxx


End file.
